Man Points:
By Adam Sinicki and Nathan Wallace.
In this day and age, manliness is a forgotten virtue. Men are praised for 'being in touch with their feminine side', or for being a 'metrosexual'. Metrosexual, roughly translated, means 'nearly gay' and involves polishing your nails, exfoliating your skin and wearing lots of aftershave. This is not being a man. The Terminator never exfoliates, neither does John McClane and neither should you.

For these reasons, Nathan Wallace and Adam Sinicki set about creating a 'points' system and list of rules that will guide you in todays society of pussies. By dishing out and taking away Man Points we can monitor the behaviour of ourselves and our colleagues to ensure we all remain manly gentlemen. We can all follow the advice herein to be better men.
The Man-Points system has also since been added to by the good denizens of Facebook! Check out the group below.
Some things that will earn you points:
- Punching someone: + 2 points
- Punching someone much bigger than you: + 5 points
- Head-butting someone: + 7 points
- Playing a riff on an electric guitar: + 3
- Downing a drink: + 3 points
- Running a mile: + 8 points
- Downing petrol: + 7 points
- Climbing something high: + 5
- Shouting really loud and beating your chest: + 2
- Wrestling a lion: + 20
- Setting fire to some money: + 5
- Smoking a cigar: + 2
- Swallowing a live snake: + 30
- Sex: + 8 points
- Swearing: + 1
- Swearing at your boss: + 4
- Swearing at the queen: + 5
- Being aloof: + 2
- 3-some: + 30 points
- Visiting Adam Sinicki.com: + 5
- Lifting something really heavy: + 5
- Doing a massive shit: + 3
- Pushing yourself to the limit! + 9
- Exploding something: + 20
- Winning any kind of competition: +5
- Being on fire and not even caring: + 30
- Driving: + 2
- Riding a motor bike: + 3
- Being involved in a high-speed car chase: + 20
- Punching through a steel-enforced brick wall: + 50
- Being topless: + 1
- Eating raw eggs: + 1
- Eating raw meat: + 2
- Eating a dead human: …
- Watching action films: + 2
- Not revising for an exam: +2
- Completing a centurion or a 24 can challenge: +15
- Starting a fight with Chuck Norris: +40
- Climbing a mountain: +100
- Drinking Stella: +10
- Playing rugby: + 5
- Drinking till you throw up then continuing: + 5 (only if you drink more than 15 pints before you laugh at the carpet.)
- Getting banned for life from a club: +5
- Trying to get back in 5 mins later: + 2
- Wearing Brut: + 2
- Driving with your eyes close: + 8
- Walking out of an explosion unharmed: + 25
- Melting stuff: + 3
- Starting a fight with Jack Bauer: +50
- Pissing on a police car whilst intoxicated and managing not to get fined or arrested: +60
- Completing the Tough Guy Challenge: +100
- Hunting + 10
- Winning a fight with Chuck Norris: + 1,000,000,000 (Because its impossible)
- Being able to pop open a bra by looking at it + 50
- Sleeping with a gun under your pillow: +10
- Sleeping with a pillow under your gun: +100
- Biting a priest: +5
- Getting a Blow job whilst driving: +30
- Clearing a room with a fart... 20 points - 25 if you successfully blame it on someone else, but 30 for admitting it.
Things that will lose you man points:
- Crying: -10
- Drinking deit coke: -2
- Watching Trisha/Oprah/any crap talkshow: -13
- Watching a romantic comedy: -2
- Being to tired to go out on the piss: -2
- Inviting a girl to join the man points group: -500
- Watching chick flicks alone - 25
- Wearing clothes that are too small - 5
- Cuddling with small toys - 30
- Going to the bathroom together - 15
- Having an elaborate Myspace page - 25
- Taking too long in the bathroom (- 25), unless of course you are doing a massive shit, in which case you earn massive pointage
- Moisturising - 30
- Washing ur bed sheets more than once a year: -50
- Using painkillers - 15
- Going to the doctors - 20
- Using Lipsill - 20, pouting as you apply - 60
- Appologising - 20
- Straightening your hair - 40
Man rules
Shots are free
Crying is for pussies
Bleeding is your skin crying and crying is for pussies
Never leave a good man behind
Do not watch films with Richard Gere or Ben Affleck in them
Pink and yellow are unnacceptable
Do not drink girl drinks
Never leave a good man behind
Never leave a good piece of food
Never leave a good beer
Suing is for pusies
Alpha Males
A list of inspiring men:
James Bond
Chuck Norris
Arnie
Sylvester Stallone
John McCalne
Rambo
Rocky
John Matrix
Maximus the Gladiator
William Wallace
Terry Wogan
Optimus Prime
Jeremy Clarkson
Superman
Batman
Spiderman
Tony Stark
Rocky
Conan
Jackie Chan
Bruce Lee
Jet Li
Steven Segal
Big Fletch
Samuel Jackson
Jack Bauer
Sean Connery
Al Pacino
Robert DeNiro
Denzel Washington
Clint Eastwood
Jean Claude Van Damme
Steven Segal
Muhammad Ali
Leonidas
Dr Cox
Vinnie Jones
Will Smith
Homer Simpson
Peter Griffin
Jack Sparrow
Goky
Stiffler
Indiana Jones
The Rock
Poppa Smurf
The man rules and points system were devised by Adam Sinicki and Nathan Wallace and has been further added to by our fellow men of facebook. Visit the groundbreaking group here. Remember - not being in the group is for pussies!
Note: As the group got more popular the task of adding people's suggestions got tough, so if you'd like any added here then send an e-mail my way. |
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