What Annoys Me In The Gym!
By Richard Silverton
Being an angry sort of person, when you go to the gym you just want to relax and let off some steam but there are people out there who are intent on wrecking that gym experience. Why do they do this? Because they don't know any better. So I am here to give those people a heads up on what they are doing wrong.
1. Wearing a white or grey top if you are prone to bouts of extreme sweating. If I'm on the treadmill behind you I don't want to be seeing your shirt soaking as if you have just walked through a monsoon.
2. Chucking said shirt into your locker after a session and using it again the next time you come. Your locker is not a fucking washing machine and never will be. Get that thing washed. [Guilty! - Ad]
3. The older women who still wear spandex leggings. Yeah you might have looked good 20 years ago but not anymore. Cover yourself up ladies and show some dignity (old lady spandex does turn certain people on but these people are sick so shouldn't be left unattended in a gym anyway).
4. The people who have there iPod on the loudest volume possible when training next to you. Yeah you got a flashy new iPod and want to show it off but I don?t want to hear it. Especially when you are training to 'Its raining men'.
5. The interrupter person. These people will try and start a conversation with you when you are working out with your gym buddy. Now you may be a great person and really interesting but as the old saying goes: 2's company, 3's a crowd. I don't want to socialise with you so please just piss off.
6. The sweaty people that don't clean their machine down after use. I do not want to be going on a machine and find a puddle of your sweat on it. Mop it up.
7. The new inductees who instead of watching their induction find it more beneficial to stare at what you are doing. What are they doing! Concentrate on the machines. Stop staring at me.
8. The people who hog the water fountain that stay there drinking for hours whilst a queue forms behind them. These people are also the ones that usually sweat all over the machines so of course you have the sweat dripping onto the fountain. There is only one way to deal with these people and that is by spraying them with deodorant whenever you can. The will soon take the hint.
9. The psycho people. These are the gym members who come in with eyes bulging out of their heads and muscles flexing. Now we all know that they are on some form of steroids which means that they are trying to intimidate to mask there own insecurities, mainly their steroid shrunk penis. What annoys me about them however is the grunting which ensues from their mouth as they do their sets. Please take your grunting somewhere else, preferably the farm on which you were born.
10. Finally the overzealous people who celebrate after every set of weights they do. I hate these people more than anything. There usually the weakest people in the place and dance around in their gym vest as if they have won the lottery. Everyone knows however that they spend 99% of their life in their rooms watching internet porn and playing warcraft. [Nothing wrong with Warcraft! - Ad]
Now they are just some of the things that piss me off in the gym so be warned if I see any of these people I am likely to shoot them.
